Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Life with an Infant

Before having Olivia, I often wondered what the HECK I would do all day with an infant. I thought I would be bored. Well, I am here to tell you I am NOT bored. I was bored. Well, I was "stuck" for a few weeks. Okay, lemme break this down. *Disclaimer- this post is pretty long*

 Lil Mama is 15 weeks old here!

Weeks 1-4... Total blur. Foggy. My mom was with us for about 10 days over a 2 week span. I recently asked her, "What did we do all day?" I remember her cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, making our bed and food shopping... but I couldn't remember what took up MY days! She said, "You basically fed the baby and sometimes took a nap..." Then it all came back to me. The first month of nursing was SO time consuming. I needed pillows to prop her up and she nursed both sides for like 15-18 minutes. She would fall asleep while nursing so I would take her onesie off (which took me like 5 minutes because I was so new at all of this, ya know?) to make her a little uncomfortable so she wouldn't pass out. WILD. By the time I was done nursing the baby, she slept for an hour and then needed to be fed again. I was nervous to pump (I didn't want her to enjoy a bottle more than me) and let Bri feed her so I just did it round the clock. I remember NOT sleeping. My milk came in the night we came home... I remember hearing her cry in my sleep, waking up FREEZING cold and shaking like I had the flu. I put on 3 layers of sweats and ran downstairs to proclaim that I thought my milk was coming in. My discharge nurse told me I would possibly feel like I was getting the flu and shake a LOT. She wasn't joking! I also remember having around 300 messages on my phone and not knowing how and when I would respond so instead of napping, I would try to catch up with friends and family. So wild. 

Ohhhh oh oh... great story! Monday, the day after we came home from the hospital, I got a crippling UTI. My Mom went to CVS to pick up meds that my amazing doctor called in for me... I had the baby in the kitchen with me while I was chugging water and unsweetened cranberry juice (which is disgusting btw)... I got the sudden urge to pee (bc that's what a UTI does, right?) and BOOM. I peed in my pants. In the kitchen. Holding the baby! No one was home and if I moved, I would drag pee all over the kitchen, family room, etc. So I stayed. And then I ended up peeing in my pants while standing in the kitchen like 3 times before my Mom came back. I am proud to say I didn't shed one tear. I actually hysterically laughed! I was texting with my doctor and he said he was happy to hear I had a good sense of humor and to keep up the good work and feel better! ha! 

Brian and I took shifts so we could each get like 4 hours of consecutive sleep. At first, I had a hard time sleeping because I didn't want to be away from the baby but once I was beyond  exhausted, I would pass out the second my head hit the pillow. 


I remember this night clear as day, actually. It was midnight and she was WIDE awake. It was my midnight shift haha! She was also like 3 days old and had her days and nights mixed up. I had no idea what I was doing... so amazing that we just figured it all out. I can't believe it, to be honest. So nuts. 


I would snuggle her for hours! Literally... all we did was eat and snuggle. She would sleep. I would not. 

Ohhhh the diapers! Remember that? I forgot! She would poop like 6 times a day or something insane like that. Thank GOD that has come to an end. 

Ohhhh and we would also log every feeding and diaper in our tracking app. That stopped, too! Thank goodness! 

Back to being tired. I was SO tired. The most tired I have ever been in my life. I still hadn't pumped so Bri could feed her. (You hear about husbands who aren't really into feeding at night... and the wife complains? Yea, not here. My husband was asking when he could finally feed her!) I had pumped a few times because my supply was so plentiful but I hadn't let her take a bottle yet. So, I had maybe 2-3 oz pumped in a bottle and I needed sleep before I crumbled to my death. Brian was SO excited to finally be able to feed her. So I go upstairs and HYSTERICALLY cry in bed. Like sobbing because I was so terrified she would never latch onto me again. (The new mom fears and anxiety were so real... holy smokes.) 60 SECONDS later... (no joke) I hear Brian at the door and he goes, "Babe? Are you awake? She sucked down that bottle in 30 seconds... I think we need your boobs." I JUMPED out of bed and said, "My babbyyyyy needs me!" hahahaha So so funny. She obviously latched, and since then she's enjoyed her bottles here and there but I just love how much she enjoys nursing. I hate pumping. I think it's such a waste of time for ME... especially since the baby (now 4 months old) is SO efficient at nursing, pumping just isn't my jam. I wish I had a freezer's worth of pumped breast milk but I don't. Oh well. I basically stopped listening to articles and do whatever I feel is right. And I feel like nursing her is 150% the right thing for US. So, it's what we do. My doctor has even told me to let Brian feed her with formula. Nah. I don't want to so I'm not going to. That's my Mom Motto... "Just do." I stopped reading (for the most part) and legit do what I feel is right. I think that a Mom should feed her baby... whatever that may be!!! Exclusive breast? Amazing! Formula only? Beautiful! Pumping? Fantastic! Breast and formula? Wonderful! Honestly... I don't care WHAT any other Mom does and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Literally. don't. care. This job is hard enough... no need to involve anyone else. With that, no one should really care what I do. ;)

Now, what I have really enjoyed is connecting with women that I haven't spoken to or seen in years and chatting all things "mommy" related. It's been sooooo nice and the support has been helpful and refreshing! When you're in this life of a newborn/infant, ALL YOU THINK ABOUT AND TALK ABOUT IS THE BABY!!! Birth story, funny stories, crazy stories, questions, answers, venting... all about this new baby that is all consuming! (And I love it, btw.) So, if you're reading this and you're my mom friend... THANK YOU! <3 


Now, let's move on to weeks 5-8. Those were my hardest weeks. Really, really hard. I wasn't sleeping. I was frustrated. The baby was sleeping beside me in her Halo bassinet, waking SO much. Sometimes, every 2 hours. Brian and I literally hadn't spent any time together. We didn't have our bedroom anymore... and I don't even mean for intimate moments. I mean like... no TV,  no conversations before bed, whispering goodnight, using our phones as flashlights, crap everywhere. Ew. So glad that time is over. During the day, she would nap long stretches... 4 sometimes 5 hours. I couldn't nap. I just couldn't. I did take a shower every day so that was nice. I also blew out my hair often because she loved the sound of the blow dryer. I would prop her on her boppy lounger and she would pass out while I did my hair. Amazing. 

We went on an adventure everyday so she slept in her carseat and ended up loving the car, which is great! But man, I was tired. Really tired. She was also fussy. She wasn't colic but she fussed around week 6 and 7. Evening fussiness was rough. Bri would have time with her after work and she basically cried the whole time. It was challenging. I think we both agree that those weeks were the hardest. 

Then came her 2 month appt. Her doctor gave us the go ahead to sleep train. (Because she was literally waking me up every 2 hours to nurse for comfort plus we both rocked her to sleep each night.) She was pushing 13 pounds at her 2 month appt and the doctor said she did NOT need to nurse even ONCE at night. Wait, WHAT?!?! So, we did the Ferber Method (read about it here) or google it. There are countless articles about it. Now, "they" whoever "they" are don't recommend sleep training until 6 months but guess who told me to do it? Olivia's DOCTOR. So, I listened anddddd... first night... 8 consecutive hours of sleep!!! And then 3 more after that. It was glorious! Every night got better and better. Also, doc told us to put her in her crib. Yep! So, I listened to that too. She needed space and that space was the beginning of a new chapter in our parenting lives! 

Okay, so that takes us to month 3! 




Independent sleep, smiles, giggles and learning new things each second of the day! Month 3 was beautiful and each week has only been getting better and better. We have a "routine", she naps (still working on longer naps... the 1st nap is the longest but the rest are around 35-45 mins), and our bedtime routine is SOLID. We bring the baby into our room, lay her on the bed and play and "chat" for about 10 minutes. Then, bath! We sing our bath time song we wrote her (hilarious), fresh diaper, aquaphor massage, fresh jammies. Head to her room, sound machine on, I nurse her, Bri reads a story aloud, he kisses her forehead and shuts the lights. I sing her 2 songs and then sleep sack and crib. Zzz... 

We have a lovely daily schedule. Wake up, eat, play, sleep, repeat. We read books, she "helps" me cook, we dance, we play with her rattles and stuffed toys, she swings in her MamaRoo, we sing nursery rhymes. It's really sweet. 3 months was good. Really good!

Remember when I said that all we think about and talk about is the baby? Well, on Feb 29th (the baby was about 14 weeks old) my Mom watched the baby and Brian and I had our 1st date night. And let me tell you something... it was MAGICAL! We went to a salt lounge for salt therapy (could use that again right about NOW), got massages in this 0 gravity massage machines (not just a chair- a legit machine) and then went for a beautiful rodizio dinner. Mmm... steak! We had drinks, we talked, we laughed. It was amazing. We definitely talked about the baby but honestly, we did such a good job talking about adult things. It was lovely.



Another great story... After our spa trip, we went home and got ready for dinner. I came downstairs all done up and Livvy did NOT recognize me. I had a pound of make up on, hair done, no glasses, jewelry. It took her like a whole minute to know it was me. She was soooo confused. hahaha SO FUNNY! 

Two days ago, Olivia turned 4 months old. 


 

And I tell you, every single day it gets better and better. I've been told we are in the "golden months" and I see it! She's just this happy, talkative little nugget who loves to play and hang with her Momma and Dadda! 


 

We read, cook and take hikes together! She's my lil bestie! (until we can't be best friends anymore because I gotta be a Mom... but once she's an adult, we can go right back to being best friends!) 


  

 


We just started solids and that is another element to our little schedule. I can tell these next few months are going to be so so sweet. <3 


So here is my conclusion... She is the greatest gift we have ever been blessed with and this is the hardest job I've ever had but I'd never, everrrrr go back! 

Thanks for reading!

<3 Cyndi 



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